I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
