why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
