bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
