He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We had to coat check the pizza.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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