This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I AM VODKA MAN
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
