My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
