Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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