I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
