She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
