if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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