Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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