How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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