I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
