You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You did what with his pubic hair?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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