Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
