that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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