smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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