the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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