How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
