can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I need to calm my uterus...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
