the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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