Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
