If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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