life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
