I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
