His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
