Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
