i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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