I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
