To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
