Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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