sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
