if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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