I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
