at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So many bounce houses so little time
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
