Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
whose parrot is this?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
