he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
