i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i came on her dog
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
