I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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