He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
