At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
