Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
