apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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