i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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