I'm jealous of your bromance
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
