How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
