i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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