I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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