You smell like stripper and shame
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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