the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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