cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
