dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
